“I am blessed my goddess, whoever she may be” by We bring the fire
Not every Pagan finds a Patron or a Matron deity.
There are many spirits who delights in pretending to be a deity and who will screw with you.
You are allowed to say no to a deity. They are not human and might not understand everything about human needs, such as having a job, a loving partner or a nice place to live.
If a deity asks you to harm yourself in any way, that’s a big red flag right there. If it is a deity, drop Him/Her. If not, it’s an impostor spirit, and you should cut off all contact.