I was still hearing a voice during the first four months of this year. I had heard it since May 2013. It claimed to be Loki, but I wasn’t sure that it was. It always talked to a set rhythm, and when I was able to hear Loki’s true voice, during the first months of 2013, He spoke in a normal manner.
I worked on blocking the voice out. In May the voice went quiet. It was gone for three weeks. Then my father died, at the end of May, and the emotional upheaval that caused triggered the voice, so I began to hear it again. This time what it said sometimes sounded like something Loki would say. The voice told me that it used a set rhythm because I could hear it more easily that way.
The voice grew more quiet again, as time passed. When I had an external focus, like reading, watching tv series or playing computer games, it blocked the voice. Every time I took a cig break, I would hear it clearly, though.
In September I went to Zürich in Switzerland to visit a couple of friends. After I came home, the voice were a bit louder again; the visit had taken more energy than I had thought.
Then I did a “hear Loki” spell in November, and I heard Loki’s true voice a couple of times during the days the candle was burning. I realised, then, that the other voice I had been hearing wasn’t Loki’s voice after all.
I began to focus more on blocking the false voice. When I had cig breaks, I would say loudly in my head “la la la”, repeatedly, to block the voice. It worked! During the past couple of weeks, I rarely hear the voice, even if I take a cig break and don’t think anything loudly.
My mind has been freed from the false voice, and I now have room to think my own thoughts again, to ponder miscellaneous stuff and even daydream. I have been able to start knitting again – it used to not be enough of an external focus to block the voice – and I can enjoy just letting my thoughts flow wherever they want. It’s a huge relief!
Finally my mind is my own, again!
Old Norse Faith (Forn Sidr) Pagan.
Lokean godspouse, mystic, and nun.
Contact: darkamber @darkamber.net
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