2014

I was still hearing a voice during the first four months of this year. I had heard it since May 2013. It claimed to be Loki, but I wasn’t sure that it was. It always talked to a set rhythm, and when I was able to hear Loki’s true voice, during the first months of 2013, He spoke in a normal manner.
I worked on blocking the voice out. In May the voice went quiet. It was gone for three weeks. Then my father died, at the end of May, and the emotional upheaval that caused triggered the voice, so I began to hear it again. This time what it said sometimes sounded like something Loki would say. The voice told me that it used a set rhythm because I could hear it more easily that way.
The voice grew more quiet again, as time passed. When I had an external focus, like reading, watching tv series or playing computer games, it blocked the voice. Every time I took a cig break, I would hear it clearly, though.
In September I went to Zürich in Switzerland to visit a couple of friends. After I came home, the voice were a bit louder again; the visit had taken more energy than I had thought.
Then I did a “hear Loki” spell in November, and I heard Loki’s true voice a couple of times during the days the candle was burning. I realised, then, that the other voice I had been hearing wasn’t Loki’s voice after all.
I began to focus more on blocking the false voice. When I had cig breaks, I would say loudly in my head “la la la”, repeatedly, to block the voice. It worked! During the past couple of weeks, I rarely hear the voice, even if I take a cig break and don’t think anything loudly.
My mind has been freed from the false voice, and I now have room to think my own thoughts again, to ponder miscellaneous stuff and even daydream. I have been able to start knitting again – it used to not be enough of an external focus to block the voice – and I can enjoy just letting my thoughts flow wherever they want. It’s a huge relief!
Finally my mind is my own, again!

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About Amber Drake

AKA Darkamber.
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11 Responses to 2014

  1. Ness says:

    So glad your mind is your own again! Yay for daydreams, and relief 🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. ubenmaat says:

    How upsetting.

    • Amber Drake says:

      It was more upsetting between November 2012 and May 2013, when I heard a choir of voices constantly chattering in my mind, before I began to learn how to block them out.
      This year has become increasingly better, as I have learned methods to block the voice out.

      • moonfire2012 says:

        I fing it an interesting coincidence that you were having this problem during the Lokiwife group drama we were in that lasted that long. My thoughts besides internal chatter were because emotions were running so high, you were hearing their chaotic thoughts because you are connected to Loki,. Another thought, which is disturbing, was that somebody directed a curse at you and you have to reverse it. Remember during that time, at least off and on between my encounters with Loki, that I was having unwanted dream and mind intruders? You couldnt stop hearing voices like I couldnt stop seeing unwanted images. I think somebody or several people with ill will were directing them at us. You know who my suspicions are.

        • Amber Drake says:

          I don’t think there is any reason to believe that I was cursed; no-one had any reason to do it.
          The chattering voice I heard since May 2013 were directed at me, it didn’t sound like overhearing someone else’s thoughts.
          I think my problems with hearing voices was triggered by the week of sleep deprivation, that it triggered a shizoaffective disorder.

          • moonfire2012 says:

            Not saying that happened Amber just speculatingbecause its been done to me. And I know because it seemed like everything went wrong no matter how hard I tried. Yes I van believe sleep deprivation can bring on a subconscious episode where everything you keep down comes to the surface.

  3. Moon Rouge says:

    Happy New Year, Amber! I’m happy you own your mind, crudely to say.
    Way before I posted my first entry I was reading many blogs. I remembered yours so well for much pain said, described, and also much untold! I wish you well, much better you had earned it! Hugs! Rose

  4. Beverley Wickenden says:

    I am glad your mind is feeling clearer now – it must have been awful for you before.

    Are you willing and able to share the ‘hear Loki’ spell that you performed please?

    • Amber Drake says:

      Thank you. Yes, it was awful, especially when I had a choir of voices in my head, and before I began to learn to block them out. It was constant chatter.

      Yes, I’m going to write a blog post about my “hear Loki” spell. I have no idea if it will have any effect for anyone else, but it can’t hurt to try.

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