April Fools – by Galina Krasskova
It’s with the jagged mask of the Harlequin
that You sometimes come.
diamond patterned skin
rich and vibrant
like certain species of snakes
I”m told are especially poisonous.
I proffer myself.
I’m a snake-handler with a harlequin mask
dancing through the freakish oubliette of this world
in six -eight time. Sleipnir would be proud.
there are doors and there are locks
and none can keep me out.
I spit fire at them.
I’ve seen how Your eyes glitter
with vestiges of the Gap
where You were nursed on power
weaned on savagery,
and learned ancestral tales.
I’ve seen the world of Your youth
in all its brutal, unmerciful beauty.
I have wept at the foot of glaciers there.
Power runs in my blood and beneath my skin,
I fucked the worlds into being
and one day I’ll take them out the same way.
I’m the shiny toy you can’t help but have,
even when you know it hides a razor.
I will cut you, I will cut you
until you bleed yourself out for me,
and then we’ll begin.
In soul and mind and spirit
i will tear your world apart.
You cavort and play the Trickster,
the Jester, and the Fool,
but I know better than to turn my back.
I’d rather dance with you, my Pyrric God,
racing over the all the hidden places in my world
upending them, me, and everyone else in turn
than lie a corpse stifled by my shadows
broken to pieces by Your laugh,
a prisoner to my own fear.
I fucked the All-Father
and He begged for more.
He wears as many masks as I.
You think I’m safe?
You think either One of Us is safe?
We’re the Mickey and Mallory of the 9 Worlds
and i’ll leave it to you to figure out
which of us plays the female role.
You’re a diamond backed rattler
poised to strike, a hungry black spider
and everything is Your web.
You are beautiful, terrifying,
disturbing, and I see the danger
and i cannot tear my eyes away,
not even when You eat my heart.
I have seen how passionately You love.
I have seen how tender You can be.
These things live in You with the terror You bring.
I have seen You throw back Your face to the moon
and howl at all the unbegotten places
as the North wind makes ice crystals on Your hair.
Sometimes in this jester’s mask
performing my grotesques as I do
I become a caricature even to myself.
Is it any wonder I want to set the world aflame,
starting with the world inside my own head?
I’m here to wake you up.
I’m here to feed you fire.
I”m here to lead you out of the cave
and into the light
and when I force your eyes open to its brilliance
nothing will ever be the same again.
I will not run. I will not hide.
I will instead praise Your name.
I will praise it for its sweetness.
I will praise it for its terror.
i will praise it for its danger.
I will praise it for its power.
I will praise it when You
have cast these things away.
And one day, when I have tasted
enough of the Gap,
and Odin has taught me enough of His secrets
I will don a harlequin mask too
and throw myself laughing
into the abyss You have wrought.
This is a stunningly beautiful poem about and for Loki