Some blog posts worth reading:
In Response to Del’s; Struggle – by extralizard13
Comment on extalizard13’s blog post – by Del
It seems to me that there are a lot of young people – young women on Tumblr, especially – who move forward too fast, and expect their spiritual progress to be like fast food delivery. They want instant gratification and don’t have the patience to work slowly and steadily for years to build up a connection to Loki (or other deities). Someone came up with the term Lokimania for what is happening on Tumblr in the “Lokean” tag.
While I’m not young (I’m in my late 40s), I’m still only a 2 year old, inexperienced pagan toddler. I started out completely head-blind; I could only interact with Loki in my dreams, and in hypnagogia (the trance state you can get when you half-awake in the morning).
I know how terribly frustrating it is to not be able to communicate with your God when you’re awake, and what it’s like not even being able to trance deeply enough to hear or see Him. I know how tempting it is to ask anyone with a “godphone” to help you communicate with Loki, no matter how experienced or not they are with communicating with deities, and how easy it is to believe everything you are told. Good discernment has been a very difficult skill to learn, as is intuition. I still suck at both, IMO…
There is still a misconception going around the net, that if you are not a Loki-wife, you’re doing it wrong. Or if you don’t have lots of hot sex with Loki, you’re doing it wrong. There also seems to be a belief that only those who are young and cis-gendered female become god-spouses.
All this is ridiculous nonsense. I know enough Lokeans to know that on the rare occasion Loki takes someone as a lover, or a spouse, He couldn’t care less about gender or gender identification (or age or physical looks for that matter). Loki is a liminal deity, and gender fluid Himself. And He sees beneath the surface of physical looks, as do all deities, in my experience. I’m not young nor slim, nor am I cis-gendered; I feel more gender neutral a lot of the time. I’m also pansexual, though I live as a nun.
It is not necessary to be a godspouse to be a “real” Lokean, or Loki’s lover.
There are also many other non-sexual relationship which are over.looked or not blogged about, like Parent/child, or Mentor/student.
Becoming a god-spouse is very rare among pagans. Becoming a god-spouse is not something the mortal decides on zir own; it’s the deity who “proposes”, in their own good time. You can’t beg, or cajole, or threaten to leave, to get a deity to marry you.
It’s a difficult Path, which honestly, I don’t think many would want, if they knew what it entailed. If I knew what it entailed, I’m not so sure if I had said yes, myself. I would definitely not have let things move so fast forward as it did.Would you marry a mortal you had only know for a few months, when you are around 20? I wouldn’t have done it when I was in my 40s, but I married a deity, who I didn’t really know at the time. Oh, I knew all the old myths from the Eddas (I grew up with them being a Norwegian), but I didn’t know what kind of Person Loki was.
I didn’t know of any godspouses when Loki said He wanted to marry me back in February 2011. I thought He was just joking the first time He told me in a dream. He had to repeat Himself three times, three nights in a row for me to get it. I thought mortals marrying gods was something that had happened way back in pagan times, as in a couple of millennia ago.
Loki told me He wanted us to get married in the beginning of August, but He was willing to wait longer, if I needed more time to make a decision. I wasn’t in doubt about wanting to marry Him, so when He suddenly asked me if we could get married at the end of June, I was ready (I thought).
For me, it’s been a thorny path. First there was a “honeymoon period” which for me meant that there were no demands made of me. Then came a “get off your ass and do something” bitch-slap. I’ve had a few of those bitch-slaps delivered to me… Still, no matter how furious or hurt Loki has made me feel, I’ve always forgiven Him when I was finished fuming or hurting. I know also that I have hurt and angered Loki, in turn. It’s too easy to forget that when you have a close, personal relationship with deities, you are dealing with Their most human-like aspect, and that They, too, have feelings.
People shouldn’t rush into oathing to deities, which I mentioned in an earlier blog post. Oathing to a deity is not like becoming someone’s girl/boyfriend; if a deity enters your life and you’ve oathed yourself to Them, you can’t at some point just simply “dump” Them if it doesn’t turn out the way you expected. Oaths are very serious business among deities, and oathbreakers are not looked on kindly.
I think the current trend in some online communities, of making Loki into a sex maniac god, is doing a lot of damage. Those who don’t have a sexual relationship with Loki wind up getting frustrated and feel like there is something wrong with them, that Loki doesn’t want them.
I’m speaking from experience here. During the first year and a half after Loki entered my life, I didn’t have any godsex. There weren’t even any sex in dreams, not even kissing. I fell into despair several times, and thought Loki didn’t really want me, or that I was doing something wrong.
It was a matter of spiritual development, though. I worked with getting closer to Loki by meditating for a hour twice a day, for over a year, before there was any sex. I also began to read about the runes, and practised with them often.
When I was far enough along, the god sex was, in my short and brief experience, not like sex between mortals. It was a joining of energies.
Then I did something very stupid, because things seemed to get a set-back during the autumn, and there was no more astral/energetic sex. I became desperate, and I did a nine days and nights devotional period of fasting and as much sleep-deprivation as possible. I thought that Loki wanted me to do this as part of a preparation for a potential Big Block break-through. I was so desperate for a break-through, and imagined that if only Loki managed a major breakthrough on the Big Block, then I would begin to be able to hear Him, and to begin to be able to Journey and meet Him Elsewhere.
Instead I ended up with a major nervous meltdown from the physical stress I put my body and brain through, and had to commit myself to a hospital for three moths. What’s worse, I had now really set myself back, to where I was more than a year ago. I was back to being headblind, unable to sense or even hear Loki, which I had been able to during the first half of last year. Well, I didn’t have a “godphone”, as such, more like a “god ham radio” with the occasional blip of signal amidst a whole lot of noise and interference, but it was better than being completely deaf…
So, you can say I am a poster child of bad discernment; I followed the advice of just one spirit-worker, instead of taking the time to get it verified via others. I did no preparations for the devotional fasting. And I didn’t stop and use my own brains and think about the consequences of sleep deprivation when I already had a bipolar 2 affective disorder…
</end jumbled rant>