Family

When Loki came into my life in November last year, I told my mother about it after a few months (after I had stopped the “OMG is this really real?!” flailing).
There’s very little about me and my life that I haven’t told my mother, so I saw no reason not to tell her about Loki.
All this time I had thought she was OK with it. She even said that as long as it didn’t have any negative consequences for me, she was OK with it; she just wanted me to be happy.
Then, yesterday she says she’s not really OK with it after all. She’s a Christian (of the quiet, non-church going kind), and it turns out she has problems accepting that I believe in the old gods of our ancestors. She definitely can’t wrap her head around the concept that I view Loki as an anthropomorphic deity; she views the Christian god as a more abstract force.
I guess I should’ve know she wasn’t really OK with it after she’d asked me a handful of times if maybe I should talk to my shrink about my new faith… (Which I didn’t see any reason for.)
Now she tells me that she’s worried that my faith will lead to something bad happening. Like me meeting some “bad” heathens who’ll lead me into “badness”, or something… I’ve never been one to follow someone blindly; I thought she knew me better than that. I can get very enthusiastic when I discover something new I like, but that’s mundane things like tv-series or movies or bands.
I see now that I’ve done a TMI fail; I’ve told my mother too much about my newly acquired religious life.
I don’t know what kind of Work Loki will want me to do some day in the future, but I have a hunch that it might lead to conflict with my mother, and maybe also other family members…

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About Amber Drake

AKA Darkamber.
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7 Responses to Family

  1. mercydoll says:

    That seriously sucks. One night I asked if certain situations happen that I can’t handle, what would happen to me (like being kicked out of the house or something difficult because of my spirituality). Loki said “The Gods will take care of you.” I don’t know what that meant completely, but I felt relieved. Maybe Loki will help you through this somehow. If your mom sees how your spirituality has helped you, who knows what would happen in the future. Maybe she would rethink about it.

  2. journeymaid says:

    That’s sad… after all, we all want to be accepted by our parents, and no matter what we try to tell ourselves their opinions DO matter to us! Hopefully she’ll grow to accept your beliefs in time, as she sees that nothing bad happens!

  3. solarbaby34 says:

    This is exactly why I don’t talk about this with my bio mother. She’s definatly Christian, I can tell despite the fact we rarely go to church. I have to hid some of the stuff I by for Them by saying ‘It’s for a friend.’ She doesn’t like that I have a personality, she doesn’t like that I have freewill, and she thinks she does nothing wrong. I know if I told her about Them she would be uber worried and tell my shrink, or the shrink who handles my meds. She will overreact. Lordy, she is already uncomfortable with EVERYTHING I buy that is spiritual. It makes me want to shoot myself…

  4. theredlass says:

    In all fairness, it’s the job of a parent to worry about everything we do. Don’t dismiss your mother’s concerns, but listen to her and let her see over time that you are fine, still have all your regular intelligence and sanity, and aren’t jumping into anything ‘evil’ or cultish…anymore so than usual. 😀 You also chose (were chosen by?) an interesting deity. I heard once from this Danish chick that Loki wasn’t so much malevolent or evil as he was the kind of personality that simply didn’t think about the consequences of his actions and represented the impulsive side of man. He also represented bisexuality and the transgendered so he had a primal sexual association as well.

    • Darkamber says:

      I thought I chose Loki; later I found out it was the other way around. 🙂

      In the old Norse religion, nothing is completely black or white, so Loki isn’t simply evil. At a surface glance, some of His deeds may not seem benevolent, but if you dig deeper, they are (not to mention that the old stories takes on another dimension if you read them on a symbolic level 🙂 ).
      Being a Trickster, Loki crosses boundaries, and does the things Odin and other gods can’t be seen doing and still have their honour intact.
      Loki appears as rather gender fluid to me, so you could say He’s a god of all kinds of genders and sexualities.

      • theredlass says:

        Exactly! Loki is the impulse driven human,who allows himself to be lead by his desires and whims as oppose to gods like Odin (who uses wisdom and strategy), or Freya (who uses wit, charm and her desirability).

        • Darkamber says:

          There is a huge difference between the mythical Loki portrayed in the old myths, and the real Loki.
          At first I thought Loki was as random and chaotic as He is in the myths, but after getting to know Him better and working with Him for a year, I’ve come to understand that it’s a mask.
          Loki is a _very_ old god, and He’s wise, strategic and good at making intricate, long-term plans. There’s a reason why He and Odin work so well together and are by some called the “devious duo”. 🙂
          Funny you mentioned Freya, because Loki is also very witty, charming, flirty and desirable.

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