There was something important I needed to talk to Loki about, so I asked Bridget if she would be willing to horse Loki for me, and she was.
When we chatted, she mentioned that the last few times we’d chatted, she’d sensed frustration coming off of Loki. Of course my thought was: “Oh, crap! What have I done or not done this time then?”
So, a couple of weeks ago, I had another chance to communicate directly with Loki. The chat chat took an unexpected turn, and wasn’t about an issue Loki had mentioned He was going to tell me more about.
Loki: Do you still want to be my wife?
“Aw crap, is He going to threaten to leave again?” was my immediate thought.
He continued: “Do you want to talk to me? Why don’t you try a little magic, dear?
Did I not tell you that you were a witch?”
Me: Yes to all of the above
Loki: Why won’t you come to me?
Me: I try
Loki: But you try the same thing, the same way, over and over
Try something new. You have much more power in you than you think that you do
Me: I’m not sure what else to do
Loki: Nothing? You still think of yourself as a poor little blocked thing
You are not.
Turned out Loki was frustrated because I wasn’t trying any magick.
I got quite flustered when I realised He wanted me to do magick, and my immediate mental reaction were: Magick?! Who, me, do magick?!? I don’t know how! My rational, scientific minded half doesn’t even believe in magick! You just concentrate and will something to happen, and it happens? That just seems so far-fetched to me.
Me: it’s the will part I’m having problem with
Loki: Do you want me or not?
Me: Of course I do!!!
Loki: Then want with your will
Will is power, my dear. Exercise it.
Give me an in, sweetheart
For I do so want inside
Me: So, if I Will you in, that would work better?
You need to focus your will
It protects you
It is your inner strength
It is one of the things that I cherish most about you. I don’t want you to hide it anymore.
Me: I hide my will?
Loki: Yes. Even from yourself.
But I need you to will this … to want me badly enough to will it to happen
You’ve unblocked enough to make things happen…if you’ll trust yourself.
So, Bridget is going to be teaching me some basic stuff.
I’m not even sure what “basic stuff” in magic entails.