It's easy to tell the difference between an experience in the hypnagogic state, and in the dream state. In the hypnagogic between state, I only have one sense at a time; either touch or hearing.
Last night I was visited by Loki as the "presence-in-my-bed" again. This time I could hear his talking to me, and I actually managed to find my voice so I could say something back. It's the first time I've been able to say anything in hypnagogia.
I was bobbing up and down like a cork on wavey water, between dreaming and hypnagogia. The dream-parts are those where I was able to see, too.
Loki came and lied down in my bed again – the presence-in-my-bed.
“I haven’t been here in a while,” he said.
“It’s not that long, really,” I said.
Then we talked about what to talk about.
“I have so many questions,” I said, “but I don’t know which I can ask. I mean, all those things I wonder about, from reading what is written down of the old stories – you lived it, and I feel it would be a bit impolite to ask too many questions about what was your life.”
“I think you’re being too nervous about asking questions,” Loki said. “I’m not fond of too submissive or grovelling worshippers.”
“So, I can just ask my questions, and you tell me if you want to answer them or not?” I asked.
“Yeah, that works,” Loki answered.
“Right. What I’m wondering about right now, is that verse in the Lesser Voluspa, where it says you ate the burnt heart of a woman, and gave birth to – depending of translations – witches, monsters or a monster. What was that all about?” I asked.
Instead of answering, Loki pinched me, hard.
“Ow, ow ow! Stop! Ow, ow!” I yelled.
When he stopped, I said: “I guess that’s one of the things you don’t want to talk about, then…”
“I don’t always remember that there are things I don’t want to remember,” Loki said.
“I’m sorry,” I said. (about having asked a question about a sensitive issue)
“Too bad, though, that so much of the old stories have been lost,” I said.
“Maybe it’s not such a bad thing,” Loki said. I got the impression that he meant that it left today’s pagans more free to explore and form their own impression of the old gods.
“Hm, maybe it isn’t…” I said, thoughtfully.
After a pause, I continued: “So, what’s your rune?” (I’ve seen that “ᚲ” Kaun/Kenaz is the rune usually associated with Loki. A couple of places I’ve seen the rune “ᛈ” Pertra/Perthro.)
Loki drew a rune on a piece of paper: ᛏ
This is Ty/Tiwaz, usually said to be Tyr’s rune; not the rune I had expected.
This rune stands for things like: passion, honour, keeping promises, commitment, dedication, daring, justice, leadership and authority, victory, overcoming obstacles, courage, compassion. Analysis, rationality. Knowing where one's true strengths lie. Willingness to self-sacrifice. It also stands for moving in the right direction and fast progress through diligence.
Interesting and puzzling…
“Oh, since last time we met like this (in the Between), I’ve got new boobs*!” I said, zipping open my hoody jacket and pushing my chest out.
Loki seemed quite amused.
“I’ll just have a quick peek, so I won’t get too tempted,” he said, then hooked a finger in my t-shirt’s neckline, pulled it down, leaned forward and peered down.
I had to laugh; he's cheeky, but in a playful and charming way.
Oh, and I think I have figured out what i promised Loki: stop nagging him about who he brought with him to my dream-house, and stop asking if he's really my patron deity (I guess that should be obvious by now…).
He seems to be quick to get annoyed, but he's smiling again just as quickly.
*(Breast reduction surgery for health reasons)